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[征文作品] 【色城２０１１文心雕龙】【我与表姐的不伦故事】（15号） ...

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2012-2-17 23:53  显示全部帖子
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首先谢谢楼主的辛苦劳动，先说说好处：文章不错，倒叙的手法让人感觉不错，文笔也比较清晰，但是文章字数少了点，做爱过程写的不够详细，

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